Vulnerable

It’s…as if, I am on stage
All is quiet
The audience is dark
And the spotlight is on me…
they are waiting,
waiting to hear
What wisdom or confessions will come forth
And I
am...

Vulnerable
Naked
Shaking
Scared to death
To let the room know what my heart wants so desperately,
to express

Because, if I tell it to them,
What, will they do, with this information?
Nurture my fears
Cover me in love
Warm me with kindness
Or proceed to take my life
With their un-sympathizing stares?

I am vulnerable

Because once I open my mouth
They too will know
the layers that exist that
I try to hide
Because some objects do not reflect their beauty when placed in light

But... I
am still
here.
To give a word
I AM the light
And I will choose to reflect what is right;
Truth
love
balance

So...
I step to the mic-
The audience still dark
And silent-
Wet my lips
My knees knocking
knowing that, what I will say will change dynamics in my life

But, I must do it

Swallow the frog in my throat
Part my lips…
And sing
A melody so beautiful that even tho it is accapella I hear a magnificent symphony
And they hear it to because their hums harmonize
In tune
in sync
on time with the beat...
Of my heart.

Telling my story of
Lies beget by secrecy
And of the nights I would cry
tears
To console me to sleep because no one was there
Or even cared that I was in need.

Tell them how I have war wounds.... scars.
Not because I was serving my country
But because I was serving someone who was unable and unworthy
of the loyalty
I had

But then
The octaves
Hit.
Because I overcame
all of the discretions, conditional love, and abuse.

Yet, I am vulnerable
on stage
naked
shaking
scared to death.
because I want to sing louder
Higher
and say

that I am ready
to take this road again
can’t continue to steer away
from what my heart truly wants.
Choosing to end the song on that note, in that spot.

The crowd goes crazy
Cheers and claps covering the entire space.
I, open my tear filled eyes and the room is fully lit
But there are no millions of people
no rows of chairs,
just one
And in it, is where you sit.
Tell me, what will you do with this song?


(c) Enigma December 2009