If You Like It Then You Need To Put A Ring On It

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“If you liked then you shoulda put a ring on it”. Beyonce’ had to know she had a hit when she put this song out. “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it”, and as women, we should really take heed to the lyrics. No not the part about being up in the club or crying tears for three long years, no not that part; that is the part we need to avoid. Besides, we have been through that part, doing things for a man; washing his clothes, cooking his food, playing mama to his children only to have a relationship that lasts for a year or maybe three end and it seems that time was wasted.

But, every moment led up to this moment, if you find that the prior paragraph is the story of your life then my dear you need to create a new story line; the new theme being “if you like it then you need to put a ring on it”. I mean come on ladies, how long will we sit down and tolerate playing wife but not actually being his wife only to have him wind up marrying someone else?

I understand that courtship and dating are necessary to understand if the man you are interested in is even worth your hand in marriage, just as he needs to evaluate the same thing. So for some, during this time, the woman may cook a meal, she may discipline his children, or take care of him while he’s sick. All of this is fine and dandy- really it is- the first two or three times. After all how many meals does it take for a man to find out you are able to nurture his body as well as his spirit? How many times must you discipline lil Jamal before he understands that you also know how to hold your own in the mothering department? How many times must you bring him chicken noodle soup, get him to take vitamin C, and rub Vicks on his chest before he sees that you are capable in-more ways than one-to take care of and nurture him and the family that you may have together in the future? HOW MANY TIMES??? And not only how many times but also how many times will you continue to do this just because? Okay he knows that you can cook, but does he display what he can do for you? And I’m not talking about your typical ya’ll go out on a date and he pays for the meals or he opens every door (granted these things are very much appreciated as well as… EXPECTED). But more than those things, does he keep your car sparkling clean like you do or is he quick to jump in it knowing that sucka needs washing? Does he check into the situation with the male coworker that you complain keeps pestering you at work? Does he offer suggestions to any other problems that you may complain about?

I can not exactly say what the purpose of a man is because to my knowledge, I have never been one and have not thoroughly been taught in man-ology; however, I do know the purpose of a woman. As a woman, our purpose is to birth this is why we have a womb; not only to birth future gods and goddesses but to birth ideas. Upon birthing, we nurture. We nurture that child for the nine months it is in the womb and continue to nurture our children as well as our men, family, and friends to the end of our days. And, after birthing an idea or being presented with an idea, we nurture that too. With that being said, who is to protect these creators of the earth? Well, the only other option is… OUR MEN. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that their purpose would be to protect and provide for the one who births and nurtures. Makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you?

So ladies, during this dating phase, make sure you see if your man is capable of providing for and protecting you all across, diagonal, backwards, and forwards through the spectrum. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting him see the ways that you can indeed birth and nurture, all I’m saying is; don’t do it for free. After a few months to a year and after one time to a few of these nurturing and creative acts, you have displayed your ability to fulfill your purpose. So don’t continue to sit around and do it just because that’s what HE expects you to do. Tell him if he likes it then he needs to put a ring on it. And if he loves you, he will, if not he’ll “keep on moving, don’t stop no” but in those situations you do the same because obviously he wasn’t the one fit to put a ring on it.

(c) Enigma May 2010