Wings

Sometimes
I wish I had wings
So that I can spread them and fly, up
Out of this reality because it
No longer
Belongs
To me.

The moment by moment struggles,
Ya’ll I’m tired
Of this battle between my spirit and my flesh
I just need rest
Need wings.

But I’m choking, on ashes, flashes of what my life has been
I try to stand strong but sometimes I just feel like giving in.
2 tears in a bucket
Fu-Get this thing we call life synonymous with the strife that we all go through,
Like
Living paycheck to paycheck;
Dead end job
In a world gone wrong.
I keep asking God WHY?
Saying the same prayers
Singing the same songs
Crying tears ya’ll I’ve cried so long
Over
Edith
Martha
Al
Ray
Duke
Ann
Jordan
Dre
Cuda
Shimiko

All souls passed on.
Wonder what verses they would spit
If they were still poets in this script
And at times feeling guilty because I,
Was blessed to see another day.

My numbers say master but how can I build
When moment by moment I create wounds that need love time and prayer to heal.

Do you not hear my screams
Or are you entertained by my pleas of help me?
Ya’ll I just need a little peace
I just wish,
I just wish I had wings.

But I’m choking
In ashes
Flashes
Of what my life could be.
I’d like to call myself phoenix
But I can’t seem to rise
And regardless of how many times that smokescreen covers my eyes
Whispering…
How high it’ll take me,
Ya’ll I know it’s all lies.
But my mind doesn’t mind being fed stories for a while
Yet my spirit is dying in this unloving place.
I wish you could see my cry for help
And sometimes,
I just wish I had wings
To lift me out of this reality that no longer belongs to me.

And I’ve never known man to spread his arms and fly
But even that won’t stop me
Because my numbers say master
The ashes feel like plaster
Covering the place my wings should be
I’m a clipped angel fallen from Jehovah’s feet
But this thing called life ya’ll,
CAN’T
CONTAIN
ME!

© October 2010 Enigma